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Today was supposed to be the day that changed my life. I was supposed to be a bride today, donning my beautiful, ivory gown. My mom and sister would’ve been adjusting my earrings and veil, perfecting all the final touches before I walked down the aisles towards the love of my life. Today should’ve been a day filled with lots of love and toasts to a happily ever after.
That is no longer my reality
When love fades or falls apart, it can crush your soul, leave you hollow and lifeless. If you let it.
My former wedding day was spent surrounded by my loved ones. The morning was spent in my pajamas laughing with my best friends, eating pepperoni and pineapple pizza and talking about the newest adventures in my life. We laughed so hard my belly ached for hours. We joked about finding love and me jetting across the world in search of more adrenaline-filled adventures.
I was carefree and living in the moment that was chalked up to be the happiest, then the saddest day of life. It wasn’t either.
Since I, as others put it, “missed my happily ever after,” people anticipated that I would be mopey and cry at every mention of love or happiness. They expected that because my relationship failed, I would be broken and defeated. They’re wrong.
Regardless of the outcome of my love life, I’m not letting failure dictate my life. I’m not going to let all the what ifs and unanswered questions taint June 15 for me. Just because I didn’t get married today, doesn’t make this the saddest day of my life.
Travel is the ultimate bae
What brings me comfort is the chance that I get to explore the world and do some serious soul-searching. I get to explore and find out what new hobbies I want to pursue, what new stories I want to tell. What’s even more exhilarating is that I took a chance of a lifetime to live out my dreams and I’m doing it — even while I’m busy mending myself.
In the past few years, adulting has knocked me on my ass more than once or twice. I spent the better part of my early 20s trying to figure out how to juggle a full-time job while still pursuing my passions. In the end, I jumped ship and started my own career and business. I even had my heart broken numerous times but discovered my worth along the way. With every hardship came a valuable life lesson that I needed to learn.
The only thing that has been constant throughout my life is that I’m always trying to improve myself. I inspire to leave a positive imprint on this world. Even though I’m only halfway through my 20s, I’ve learned that I’m a fighter. I have so much joy and love to give that I won’t let heartache or negativity prevent me from shining. I deserve to reach my full potential in life. I’ve also learned that there will be a few setbacks along the way.
Focusing on self-love
For those of you who are still worried about me. I’m doing OK. I’m blessed to be here in this moment and to still find enough strength and courage to find joy in the little things. I spring out of bed in the morning to do yoga. Jamming to 80s music while cooking still makes me want to bust a move. I still cry buckets of happy tears during every rom-com.
I’m continuing to find happiness in things that I once loved. I’m also finding happiness in activities I’ve never tried. I’m taking more risks and broadening my horizons.
Happiness is all around me and I’m finally accepting it. What’s even more liberating and exciting is knowing that there is better out there for me.
What the future holds
I’m no longer a bride or a wife-to-be, yet I’m not filled with sorrow. I’m overwhelmed with all these new opportunities to find joy. There’s a better future awaiting me. In July, I’m heading to Europe on a sponsored trip, and I’m buzzing with excitement. For the remainder of the year, I’m going to chase every whim and fantasy that I have and truly live like a vagabond.
All in all, travel will always be a constant comfort for me. It spurs me to move on after heartache and be brave enough to continue living fearlessly. It’s what ignites my soul and fuels my passion. Travel pushes me further outside of my comfort zone. I’m forced to embrace the unknown and truly immerse myself in unpredictability.
This is why in the toughest moments of my life, I’ll turn to travel. My everyday life is already filled with enough unpredictability, why not capitalize on that discomfort and find some joy instead? Going to a country where I cannot utter a single syllabus of the language is no longer crazy. Flying overseas solo is no longer a nightmare. Dining or touring a museum alone is no longer lonely.
Facing my fears head on
In fact, all these fears that I conquer make me feel alive. It’s in those moments, after the adrenaline rush, when your heart thuds back to its normal rate, that I find peace. This is what life is about. It’s about facing what scares you shitless in the face and learn to laugh and grow in every situation.
Maybe that fear is love, or possibly not being good enough for the people around you. It could be a fear of water skiing or holding a tropical bird. Regardless, I will no longer let fear dictate my life.
Now, my greatest fear is not taking enough chances and living. I aim to be reckless and live a life that’s abundant in adventures, not regrets. I’m indulging in unfamiliarity and pushing the limits for personal growth. From here on out, it’s full-throttle adventure mode at Quirky Globetrotter.
Choosing to be happy, though to may seem reckless to some, is the most inspirational act you can do. And, that, my friends, is bravery.